Charleston Minutes

The Windjammer

Isle of Palms, South Carolina

9:00 p.m., April 18, 2008

***

After all Mudslide Committee members (MCm) have their double Mudslides, Vice Chair Ellis (AC/DC) calls the meeting to order at picnic table underneath main back patio.

9:02 p.m. 

Some MCms wonder aloud why there are non-MCms at the 2008 Mudslide Committee meeting. VC Ellis says he’ll deal with the problem in short order.

9:03 p.m.

VC Ellis thanks all the MCms for attending and tells them that “there is no greater service you can provide your community than your work on the Mudslide Committee.”

9:08 p.m.

VC Ellis says Item 1A is to throw non MCms out of the meeting. Tony (Pink Floyd) who is a friend of Traynor’s (Duran Duran) – who remained in the bar with Dave Diana (David Lee Roth) – leaves. Priola (Bon Jovi) won’t leave. VC Ellis asks the MCms to name the trips they have organized. When Priola can’t name one, he is tossed, but says it is tradition for him to try to infiltrate Mudslide Committee meetings.

9:10 p.m.

Priola takes photo before leaving. VC Ellis declares Priola’s departure the official end of Item A1.

9:11 p.m.

After MCms are done celebrating the departure of Priola, VC Ellis reminds the MCms that the primary purpose of the Mudslide Committee “is to consume Mudslides,” and that the second purpose of the Mudslide Committee is to select the organizer of the following year’s Golf Trip.

9:14 p.m.

Brenan (Lynyrd Skynyrd) asks for a Point of Order to clarify whether the Golf Trip is similar to The Ponce (www.golfdigest.com/courses/2008/04/ambush) & (http://poncedeleongolf.com/). Brenan is ignored and Drew (Howard Jones) asks for a Point of Clarification to point out that Mudslide Committee secretary Townsend (Foghat) “is already scribbling everything down and nothing has happened yet.”

9:15 p.m.

Tony and Priola rain “snaps” down on the MCms from the deck above for the next 35 minutes.

9:18 p.m.

VC Ellis says Item 3 is for the MCms to nominate “someone both qualified and able to organize next year’s outing” and reminded the MCms that the nominee could be anyone but the present year’s organizer.

9:20 p.m.

Sullivan (Run DMC) asks for a Point of Order to clarify if the MCms can nominate more than one person. VC Ellis answers in the negative. Sullivan suggests the MCms pick Lyons (Kiss) to organize a trip to Savannah since he’s never been there, but hears it’s “a fun town.” Only Peterson (George Michael) laughs.

9:24 p.m.

Brenan asks for a Point of Inquiry and suggests that each nominee be “a man for others, interested in the satisfaction of his brothers as opposed to his own tastes and ideals.” Iovino (Liberace) informs the MCms that he’s “in the insurance business.” VC Ellis asks Drew to slap Iovino. Drew complies.

9:29 p.m.

Nominations go as follows:

• Townsend – Priola

• Brenan – Lavallee (Sullivan reminds MCms that Lavallee “has an accent.”)

• Drew – True (reminds that MCms that True is going through cancer treatments and “so will have lots of time to plan the trip.”)

• Peterson – Peterson (outlines the trip he’d plan, which includes rounds at Flossmoor Country Club, Olympia Fields Country Club “and we’d stay at a hotel.”)

• VC Ellis – Cave

• Shaver (Lynyrd Skynyrd) – Dean Michael Ryan (when VC Ellis calls on “Mr. Shaver,” Shaver calls for a Point of Clarification to remind the MCms that he is, in fact, “Dr. Shaver.”)

9:42 p.m.

VC Ellis orders the MCms to vote and reminds MCms that the next organizer will be selected by a simple majority. Brenan asks for a Point of Further Information, suggesting the two nominees with the most votes have a run-off. VC Ellis allows Brenan’s POFI, but Townsend contests Brenan’s suggestion with a Point of History, arguing that never before has the Mudslide Committee chosen the next year’s organizer in any way besides a simple majority.

9:50 p.m.

Townsend’s concerns for the preservation of historical consistency are overruled by VC Ellis. After the first round of voting, the results:

• Priola – 1

• Cave – 4

• Lavallee – 1

• Peterson – 2

• True – 1

9:54 p.m.

After the second round of voting, VC Ellis declares Cave the ’09 organizer. Iovino begins rubbing his nipples and shouting, “I like chicken wings!” Sullivan offers to attend next year’s The Ponce. VC Ellis calls the ’08 Mudslide Committee meeting adjourned.

9:56 p.m.

After the MCms are dispatched to the bar for more double Mudslides, VC Ellis calls Townsend into a private meeting and reprimands him for his “insubordination in front of the Committee,” which he calls “unacceptable and reprehensible.” VC Ellis says he reserves the right to “bring the matter up at the ’09 Mudslide Committee meeting” and suggests that “if you have something to say to me, you can say it behind closed doors.”

10:02 p.m.

Townsend – taken aback – replies that, in Chairman Lavallee’s absence, he believes VC Ellis was “taking advantage of his temporary authority” and had “allowed it to go to his suspiciously oblong head.” Townsend asks if Ellis had “some kind of Big Authority Man badge” to prove his importance. VC Ellis denies he has a badge, but offers to show Townsend his birthmark.