Embedded Files
Buffalo Billiards
Austin, Texas
March 26, 2010
***
Brenan, K
Ellis, G (Hon. Chair)
Iovino, J
Shaver, J
Sims, P
Sullivan, B
Townsend, T (Secretary)
Not Attending:
Peterson, J*
*Peterson was sad b/c he was the only Mudslide Committee Member not dressed like Magnum P.I., so he went away.
*****
Mudslides ordered. Meeting commenced. Midnight.
Hon. Chair Ellis calls the Mudslide Committee Meeting to order.
Sullivan (to Sec. Townsend): “Why are you taking notes?”
Sec. Townsend: “How many Mudslide Committee meetings have you been to?”
Sullivan: Lots.
Hon. Chair Ellis says next time Peterson organizes a trip, Hon. Chair Ellis will be playing golf in Tahoe solo.
Sec Townsend makes a motion for the Committee to immediately and unanimously nominate Peterson to organize all future golf trips.
Hon. Chair Ellis overrules the motion.
Hon. Chair Ellis explains the voting procedure.
Hon. Chair Ellis: “To those who are not here: You're a fucking joke.”
Shaver shows up, sits down in the wrong chair.
Hon Chair Ellis: “Hey, Douchebag. They say they can fire me, but I haven't lost at anything all week — not golf, not shuffleboard.”
Shaver asks Hon. Chair Ellis how many trips he's organized.
Hon. Chair Ellis (to Shaver): “Did I say you could speak?”
Hon. Chair Ellis gives Shaver the floor.
Shaver asks Brenan how many golf trips Brenan has organized.
Brenan: “2002. New Orleans. Best trip ever.”
Hon. Chair Ellis reminds Brenan that all he did for the New Orleans “was design the shirts,” and that the only thing that “made New Orleans fun (and funny) was the size of Jody's ass.”
Shaver asks for the floor again.
Hon. Chair Ellis asks that Brenan shut up.
Shaver challenges Brenan's statement that New Orleans was the best trip ever, and declares that the best trip ever was Miami.
Hon. Chair Ellis asks for a Point of Clarification from Shaver: Did he mean Miami I or Miami II? “In other words, the Miami trip where BMG fleeced D. Cullen, or the Miami trip that was more of a bocce trip than a golf trip?”
Iovino points out that the shirt from Miami I depicted Sullivan's acne, which was rollerblading with a baked stuffed shrimp.
Shaver: “Let's stop patting ourselves on the back and get down to business.”
Hon. Chair Ellis declares that the Mudslide Committee meeting's purpose is to vote on who organizes next year's golf trip, and to drink Mudslides. Then he describes the nomination & voting process.
Shaver asks if the vote is an 1/8 of a size too big.
Hon. Chair Ellis orders Sec. Townsend to strike Shaver's remark from the minutes. Sec. Townsend refuses.
Hon. Chair Ellis asks Iovino if he understands the nomination & voting process.
Iovino: “No.”
Hon. Chair Ellis asks for the nominations.
Ellis nominates Brenan
Sec. Townsend nominates Iovino
Hon. Chair Ellis opens up the table for a free flow of conversation
Sullivan nominates Lavallee
Sullivan says he's nominated Lavallee "for obvious reasons." Hon. Chair Ellis demands that Sullivan "speak louder."
Hon. Chair Ellis wonders aloud whether it might be time for more Mudslides, and dispatches Shaver to achieve this outcome.
Hon. Chair Ellis says that if Lavallee is chosen, he will organize a golf trip in Europe and that we all need to be prepared to make that trip, if Lavallee is chosen.
Sims says that's fine.
Hon. Chair Ellis says we should reserve the European trip for the 20th anniversary, in 2013.
Brenan nominates Hon. Chair Ellis, pointing out that Hon. Chair Ellis has not organized a trip since 1994.
Hon. Chair Ellis: “Shut Up!!!”
Shaver asks whether each Mudslide Committee member can offer two nominations. Brenan looks up the original Mudslide Committee bylaws and finds that each member does, indeed, get two nominations.
Shaver: “Fat ass Jody Morris because that's the only way he goes, and Geoff Ellis.”
Hon. Chair Ellis: “Why?”
Shaver: “Because.”
Hon. Chair Ellis: “There's a danger that if we choose Dr Morris, He won't do it.”
Shaver: “It's clear why Jody would be better — I like him more and he's smarter than you.”
Sullivan: “And we'd get to go back to New Orleans.”
Hon. Chair Ellis: “Here's what it comes down to — a vote for Jody Morris is a vote for New Orleans, a vote for Kane is a vote for Las Vegas, and a vote for Lavallee is a vote for Turkey*”
*Sec. Townsend cannot make out his own handwriting, but it looks like either "Turkey" or "Ingar"
Iovino: “I nominate the Eckewaitress’s husband.”
Brenan: “I nominate myself and Martine.”
Sullivan: “We have more nominees than friends.”
Sims: “I nominate Martine because he no longer comes, and CKB because he wants to go to Vegas.”
Shaver (to Brenan): “Why do you want to go to Vegas?”
Brenan: “Before we get too old, we should do one of these in Vegas. Day One, we play golf. Day Two, we go to strip clubs. Day Three, we go to the casino.”
Sec. Townsend reads the nominations:
Brenan
Lavallee
Morris
Ellis
Cave
Martine
Brenan begins campaigning for himself — "Vote for Change. Vote for Change."
Votes are tallied by Sec. Townsend after a secret ballot.
Brenan - 5 votes
Lavallee - 4 votes
Sec. Townsend points out that, while he's bad at math, that outcome means there were nine votes and yet only seven Mudslide Committee Members were present. Hon. Chair Ellis calls for a re-vote.
Votes are tallied by Sec. Townsend after a secret ballot.
Lavallee - 5 votes
Brenan - 4 votes
Hon. Chair Ellis calls for another re-vote. Votes are tallied by Sec. Townsend after a secret ballot.
Brenan - 5 votes
Lavallee - 4 votes
Hon. Chair Ellis calls for another re-vote, this time by blind show of hands.
Iovino: “I think we did it this way last year.”
Hon. Chair Ellis: “Shut the fuck up.”
Iovino: “I think we did it this way two years ago.” (To waitress): “Waitress, eight more mudslides.”
Sullivan (impassioned): “He,” [points to Brenan] “will be the worst organizer. He won't do anything at all until the week before.”
A large and loud discussion of the merits — and not — of going to Las Vegas ensues. New round of mudslides arrive and all members quiet down, the better to drink their mudslides.
Iovino: “It's Las Vegas, Sully. Enjoy the cabana.”
Hon. Chair Ellis (to Brenan): “Where would we stay if we go to Vegas?”
Sullivan (impassioned): “The golf trip and Vegas should always be separate. That's the best part of this trip is that it's not a cliche. We always go somewhere that's not Vegas. This trip should never be in Vegas.”
Brenan: “In '02, I organized the best trip ever.”
Hon. Chair Ellis calls for the final vote for the golf trip in "oh-eleven."
Iovino: “You said ‘oh-eleven.’”
Sec. Townsend tallies the blind, hand-count vote. Final result:
Lavallee - 3 votes
Brenan - 4 votes
Brenan: “I might organize next year's trip in Wales.”
Sullivan pays mudslide tab after losing Reverse Roulette.
Hon. Chair Ellis: The 2010 Mudslide Committee Meeting is officially adjourned.
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